10+ Tips for Writing Natural Dialogue
Want to hear something crazy?
I think the way dialogue is written might be more important than the way you write prose. I also think it’s harder to get right. I mean, there are a lot of different ways of writing prose; even the technically “wrong” ways of writing it can still get written off as an artistic choice.
But dialogue will either sound right or wrong. And it’s not always easy to pinpoint the problem.
Luckily for you, I’m here with some tips to help you write dialogue that’s natural, timeless, and true to your characters.
(You’ll notice that I didn’t say realistic dialogue. Because you’re writing fiction, there will always be some element of your writing that isn’t perfectly life-like. That’s okay. We don’t want totally realistic dialogue; I’ll explain why later.)
Let’s tackle the biggest problem first…
dialogue spoken by children
If you asked me to rank my bad dialogue pet peeves, I think this would be at the top of the list.
There are a lot of reasons your children’s dialogue might be awkward.
You’re not around kids often
You are around kids, but not children in the same demographic—especially age—as your character
Your own memories of how you talked and perceived the world when you were younger are shaped by the way you are now.
Just to name a few.
Whatever reason the dialogue might sound bad, you know it when you see it.
It could be a seven-year-old talking like a toddler, or a ten-year-old who has all the wisdom of someone in their forties.
I recently read a critique of Stephen King’s It. They said the kids in that book talk like adults talking about childish things. I’ve noticed a similar problem in some of his other books. His uses of slang, especially, feel dated even if the setting isn’t.
It’s such a prevalent issue that if there’s a kid in a book I’m editing, I’m probably going to suggest they change their dialogue. This doesn’t mean the writers are bad! Clearly, very successful authors can have this problem too. It just means that this is an especially hard thing to get right.
So how can you get it right?
I’ll go into more detail on this on my Patreon this month, but here are the basics!
If you don’t have any munchkins around who are the age of your characters (very important; just a year can make a big difference here), ask questions. Social media can be just as helpful as it can be addictive. Maybe you have a specific line of dialogue you aren’t sure of, or you just aren’t familiar with how kids of a certain age speak—whatever it is, ask.
You can also watch some of the content that’s geared toward that age range. The writers of those shows will keep their target audience in mind. See how much variation there is in sentence structure, take note of how often questions are asked (either by the child or the person engaging with them), and how simple they keep their dialogue. How long are their sentences? Can they communicate any complicated ideas?
When in doubt, keep it simple. Stay away from slang, keep sentences short, and don’t try to make it cutesy or use lots of baby talk. Capturing the way kids talk is more about how their minds work than it is their vocabulary.
The setting you’re writing in is also very important. The idea of children being treated as children is a relatively recent one; just a few hundred years ago, they were treated as mini adults. Even now, there are circumstances that require children to help provide for their families in one way or another. This would impact a lot more than just their vocabulary, so keep it in mind if you’re writing a character with a similar story.
This might be the most important piece of advice: Don’t just use them as exposition tools. This is true for all characters, of course, but kids are often very minor characters. It isn’t uncommon for dialogue with children to be used to explain part of the plot or create an attachment or motivation for the hero. I don’t mind them being part of a character’s motivation, but if they’re only there to explain things to the reader, then the character isn’t necessary.
Phew! Now that that’s out of the way, I can give you some more advice for writing dialogue!
use contractions
When’s the last time you said “It is three o’clock” or “That is my dog”? If you’re like me, the answer might just be never. Contractions are a very important part of dialogue. Without them, it sounds very old-fashioned and stilted. That might be okay if you’re writing historical fiction, but if you’re not, it’s probably not what you’re going for. I would say that, when possible, you should use contractions. It also gives you an extra tool to use when you need to emphasize something. “You’ll be there” doesn’t sound as final and demanding as “You will be there.”
avoid lots of slang
Even if you’re writing something modern or set in a era whose slang we’re all familiar with, I would advise you to limit the amount of slang terms you use. If I were going to write a book with Gen Z characters, I wouldn’t fill the book with things like “no cap,” “glow up,” and “bussin’.”
Why? For one, I don’t want my book to be cringe-worthy or hard to read, and slang often falls into those categories. Sure, my target audience would be able to read it just fine, but if someone picked it up ten years from now, it would look like nonsense.
Language is always evolving in strange, fascinating ways. It’s one of my favorite things about it. But too much slang will seriously limit the people who will find a book enjoyable as well as its “shelf life.”
it’s okay to beat around the bush
Characters don’t always say what they mean! Especially if it’s something that would be difficult to say. You can use this fact to your advantage in a few ways; characters might straight up lie if the truth is too uncomfortable, or hesitate so long that they’re interrupted. It’s a great way to build intrigue and play with unreliable narrators. It’s also useful for limiting the melodrama in your story. (Picture any of those scenes with Anakin and Padmé. That’s what you want to avoid.)
“We tend to believe people when it costs them something to say whatever it is they have to say. Like a math equation: the more it means to the character, the more difficult it is to say.”
— Robert Towne
Read it out loud.
If you stumble when you read it, it needs work.
make sure they don’t all sound the same
Maybe one of your characters has a tendency to be grumpy; they probably won’t be the one with encouraging speeches or cheerful good mornings. If the bubbly one starts speaking in a more subdued way, it could indicate that something’s wrong.
Catchphrases are a good way to give your characters individual voices. Maybe they have a specific curse they like to use or something they always say when they’re surprised.
Keep the sentences short.
Sentence fragments, interruptions, and trailing off are all a-okay! Think about how often there are pauses in the conversations you have.
Don’t be afraid to listen to conversations in public. You’ll hear just how much we interrupt each other without meaning to, change the subject, and get distracted. This is where the problem with “realistic” dialogue creeps in; you want to balance that realistic flow of conversation with the pacing of your scene. I don’t want to read dialogue with ten ellipses, a random topic change, and interruptions.
(Also, notice that we don’t usually refer to people by their names in real life. You might need to add names in dialogue tags to keep track of who is speaking, but your characters don’t need to address each other by name much at all. I mostly use it for emphasis.)
don’t waste time
“Hey, Dave!”
“Hello, Mark. How are you?”
“Fine, fine. I got stuck in traffic this morning, but you know how it is.”
“Yeah. Hey, do you have those reports I asked for?”
This is an example of a greeting that wastes time. Of course, if your characters are meeting for the first time, it’s okay to take a little more time on something like this. But it really slows down the scene, so if that’s not the case, they should get to the point.
“Hey, Mark. Do you have those reports?”
Make it meaningful, but don’t force it.
Dialogue, like the scenes in your story, should serve a purpose. Sometimes that purpose will be gaining an important insight or learning something new, and other times it will mean building a relationship. If you can cut it without losing vital information or development, then you probably should.
avoid exposition
There’s a kind of dialogue called “As you know, Bob.” (you can read more about it on TV Tropes) It’s a kind of expositional dialogue that always feels unnatural. It feels shoehorned in and takes me out of the story right away.
There’s an example of this in the beginning of the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. At his party, Bilbo is speaking to his nephew. He says he’s a very selfish man and “I don’t know why I took you in after your mother and father died, but it wasn’t out of charity.”
If the characters talking both already know what’s being stated, then why does it need to be said? And could Bilbo choose a worse time and place to bring up that painful memory?
There’s much more I could say about this subject. Is said really dead? How many dialogue tags do you really need? How do you write villains without writing a monologue? Is there such a thing as too much dialogue? How do you write a conversation without it all being dialogue?
But those are all subjects for future posts!
If you want more tips for writing realistic dialogue for kiddos, head over to my Patreon! I’ve made a handy-dandy printable for you, and I’ve got some extra tips that I didn’t include here!
do you want a little guidebook?
This little guide has handy-dandy charts and information about the science behind how kids speak!
My Patrons get access to new freebies every month, and this is the newest one! It’s just $5/month, and you get access to freebies, exclusive tips, my Discord server, and more!
